Oh, No You Didn’t! – Top 10 Annoying Phrases

Every moment, each day of our lives we have the opportunity to be clever. We are presented with situations that could be enhanced by the flavor of our wit and charm. Instead, during those moments when we have the opportunity to shine, we instead fall flat on our faces, falling  short of  our potential genius. We fall back onto tired, cliched statements as dull conversation fillers. Here are ten sayings that should be shelved, boxed away, tossed into the sea of no return. Do you agree?

1. Smile. It’s not all that bad.

A statement usually made by some guy who thinks all women should walk around with fake smiles plastered on their faces. The next time somebody says to me, I swear my response will be, “I’ll smile as soon as you get out of my face. And then, yes, the world will be sunny, jackass.”

2. You know what you should do . . .

Ugh! Yes, I know exactly what I should do. I should shoot myself in the head to put me out of my misery that will surely accompany the advice you are about to give to me.

3.I’m not going to lie, but honestly . . .

Honestly? If we are going to be honest, the truth is that you are most likely going to lie to my face. This is just your way of making yourself feel better.

4. No offense, but. . . (aka nooffensebut)

If you not want me to feel dejected, assaulted or chastised, then keep your mouth shut.

5. I’m just saying.

This is usually followed by silence. The listener forced to come to their own conclusion. Ah, come on! I don’t want to work that hard. Finish the thought, so I can finish the conversation.

6. My bad.

It IS terrible that you cannot speak proper English.

7. Whatever, I don’t care!

Whatever, clearly you do care! You simply don’t know how to verbalize your feelings, reducing your vocabulary to the size of a plastic Barbie doll.

8. Please. . . (followed by a snort or required eye roll)

Please, what? Please quit talking to you. My pleasure.

9. Let’s do lunch sometime.

My first question is, How do you DO lunch? Second thought, this is a brush-off statement that should be translated as such, “I am tired of talking to you now. I haven’t seen you in two years. I look better than you. I make more money than you and I need a way to end this reunion. I know. I should suggest lunch.” Suggesting lunch is the ultimate reunion, conversation killer.

10.Everything happens for a reason.

Liar! Sometimes life just sucks!

What are phrases, words, or gestures that unhinge you? Better yet, give us your suggestions for some great comebacks or phrases.